Attunement - we talk about it a lot when we are trying to grow our secure, emotionally intelligent and resilient little people. Listening to our children is an important part of attunement and can be incredibly connecting, but it can also be extremely difficult when our little people are feeling overwhelmed by their BIG emotions.
Giving voice to the feelings your children are feeling can help them learn to calibrate them accurately.
‘……Wow that picture is so colourful, you look really proud of your work…….’
Sometimes, it’s trickier and we have to listen really hard, listen behind the grumpy mispronounced words or the flailing limbs to our small child with an under developed brain trying to form a roadmap of how to be in the world.
A deep breath can help and a …..‘I see your tears, you can be sad, but you just can’t give the dog a haircut, let’s find some paper to cut’.
Parents - don’t put the pressure on yourself, you don’t need to teach lessons, they will learn many at kindergarten, school, after school sports, and from friends.
Your role is to be a safe base to calibrate emotions and to teach the behaviour that is okay and not okay. Take the time to listen to the feelings, give them a voice, place the sign posts around the behaviours and simply ‘be with’.
Comments