A child’s mind is programmed to remember the moments of their interactions that form a connection, they are hardwired to soak up any information that helps them form a meaningful relationships with you. These moments happen time and time again in our everyday moments.
When your child jumps on the trampoline they call out -
…..‘mum watch this!…’
- you turn and watch, smiling as they jump so high.
‘…….Wow darling, so high!’.
Your child feels a sense of accomplishment….they might think ……‘my interest is important to my parent, I am interesting, what I do is interesting!..... ‘ then they begin to tumble.
You say………‘up you get, silly duffa…….’ as you think they just slipped, but your little one begins to cry, they turn and you notice they’ve bumped their tooth on their knee and they’re bleeding...
‘oh my darling……’ you walk over, arms out stretched, cuddle them in and gently wipe their tears and kiss their leg, you feel awful. You can’t believe you called your little one a silly duffa when they were really hurt!
Don’t worry! That imperfect moment is still so perfect. You thought the bop was small, your child let you know you had misread the situation and you beautifully followed their lead, changed your tune, reassessed and reached in to support them through the experience. You dry their tears, give them an extra squeeze, pop a band-aid on and they settle and start looking out to the trampoline, you encourage their curiosity and off they go again bouncing high.
Your imperfect parenting moments are growing a secure, resilient foundation in your child’s mind. Your child learns that sometimes people will misread their feelings and offer support that doesn’t fit how they feel and it’s safe to reach out and try again. Imperfect is a beautiful moment, so don’t you dwell, you are doing the most wonderful job.
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